Let me tell you

Today I am 31w4d pregnant. I have been in the hospital for 49 days and have 18 days left until my c-section.
Why is it that everyone else seems to think 18 days will fly by so quickly. I am to the point where I count the hours in the day. Every hour that passes I go "Only XX hours until 17 days left" Currently only 6 hours until I have 17 days left. Today I was so unmotivated to do anything that after I ate breakfast I pretty much laid in my bed until 3pm. I didn't want to read, go online, eat, shower, etc. I haven't flat ironed my hair in weeks just because I don't feel like going through the process and I have no one to impress.
Right now I am in a super crabby mood. I ate way too much for lunch (4 pieces of stuff crussed pizza) and then only thing that would make me feel good right about now would be some extra strength Xlax. Plus this stupid hospital internet that the Babycenter community blocked off for whatever dumb reason. I didn't even plan to post.
But anyway, let me tell you something. There is no possible way to naturally induce labor if your body is not ready for it. I figured, hey, my body IS ready for it. My water is broken, how can my body NOT be ready? I've been using acupressure points for the last few days, and I know I'm pressing the right areas because the baby moves around like crazy, but they definitely aren't causing contractions. I ate pizza covered with pineapple and crushed red peppers and besides feeling totally constipated, it definitely didn't trigger labor. I think the only thing that does work effectively is sex, but again that only works if your body is ready. What I don't understand is why my body has lasted this long. Sure it's a wonderful thing that I'm now almost 32 weeks, but most people only last 4 weeks after they've pprom'd and it's been 7 for me. After 4 weeks the chance of infection increases and at this point I just wish Marino would make the decision to arrive already. I am so despondent about being here!
I'm trying to find a massage therapist who would come to the hospital to give me a massage. Obviously I need to clear it with the doctors first, but maybe if I had a nice relaxing massage my body would be ready to signal labor. I know oxytocin is one of the hormones important in labor and I definitely haven't been feeling any affection lately. I'm also not one to want to play around with my leaky nipples (gross). This hospital bed isn't really big enough for me and Ted, and he's not a big cuddler anyway. I thought maybe if we got a little makeout time in together it could trigger things, but that would only be cruel to him considering we haven't been able to have sex in nearly 3 months! Again, a nice massage, whether it makes Marino come faster or not, sounds really good and worth the money right about now. I'm also trying to find someone who does manicures and pedicures who could come to me. If someone had one of those portable pedicure tubs and could come give my feet a nice pedicure it would make me so happy. I'm also hoping maybe Ted will go to wal-mart and buy me one of those portable back chair massagers. My back hurts so bad from sitting in this bed all day. One of those massagers would be great because I'll get plenty of use from it the last two weeks while I'm hear in the hospital and I could probably use it a ton while I'm at home up all night rocking the new baby. Anyway I really don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of this time, I guess I'm just going to have to do it. :(