I'm so over this experience. My hormones must be in overdrive today because I went from sleeping, to being cool, to crying, to being irritated today. Seriously, why the fuck do the nurses come in at the most inconvenient times and then linger around like I want to have a conversation with them? If I want to have a conversation with you, I will, but if I'm clearly busy don't just stand there thinking I'm about to open up with something super interesting to say.
My frustration stems from the following story. I get a letter from Friend of the Court, a court date to be exact. I've been waiting for this forever! I want to go to court, see Boorah not show up, and ask them to terminate his parental rights. The fucking court date is for August 15th and more than likely I won't be out of the hospital before then. I mean I know I said I thought I'd have the baby between 31-32 weeks but I'm doubting my intuition cuz this is by far the most boring and stable pregnancy in the history of mankind. I've called Friend of the Court 6 times. The office I need to contact has no phone number... just a fax number, as if everyone on the 6th phone is too busy to be bothered and they don't have a phone up there. All four of the people I spoke to told me they don't reschedule these sorts of court dates and a default judgment will be sent to me in the mail if I don't show up. I don't want a default judgment. I want to go to court and show that I'm the good, caring responsible parent and get something accomplished! My only option is to write a letter pleading for another court date, send it along with my court information and medical documentation to the fax number I've been given and hope they call me and change the court date. Then on top of it the paperwork clearly states that if you don't show up to court as you are required to do your public assistance benefits and medical assistance can be reduced or terminated. So I'd basically be in the hospital for 2 weeks with no health insurance.
I talked to the doctor about this and she said if I have to go to court I'd have to sign the AMA papers and come back that night. Well if I do that Medicaid can deny covering the rest of my hospital expenses and be left with the huge bill. Fucking double edged sword, catch-22 situation. And I'm sorry but if I leave the hospital I'm going to be out the whole freaking day. I'm coming back at like freaking midnight. I'm gonna go out to eat and go shopping and walk around outside. I'm not about to just go and come right back... so if I go I'm gonna need my parents to take me because Ted's strict ass if gonna bring me right back to the fucking hospital.
Anyway the doctor had given me this girdle to wear cuz I said my pubic bone was hurting. I just took the girdle off... maybe I had it too tight, but it felt like it was cutting off my circulation. After I was done crying today my stomach tightened for like 30 minutes straight and I thought God was just doing his part to work everything out for me but to no such avail.
This blog helps me pass the time and state my emotions guilt-free. But I'm so sick of posting the same old, same old everyday. So I may wait and not post every other day. I may only do it once or twice a week so I can feel I have something worth talking about. :-/
Triston, last week at the hospital
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