The visit with Ted's mom and aunt went well. Ted's mom is a lot like me. She's very quiet. I am so happy his aunt was there because she asks a lot of questions, so it kept the conversation rolling. It is weird to answer questions about breast feeding and breast pumps when they are coming from someone you barely know. I was also a little taken aback when I said I have a lot of Triston's clothes and she said "we don't want him in that, we want him in all new stuff." I understand that it will be my boyfriend's parent's first grandchild, but it kind of made me feel that she was saying the stuff that Triston had isn't good enough for another baby. Um, babies grow very quickly and to me it's frivolous to spend lots of money on new stuff that they will only wear a handful of times, or possibly might not even get a chance to wear at all before they outgrow it. I know Triston had clothes that he outgrew before I even got to put them on him.
Luckily for me I'm still on roommate number 6. She's makes minimal contact which I appreciate. Ted was able to take me down to the cafeteria today so I was able to get out of my room for about a half hour. I both like and dislike getting out of my room. I enjoy being able to get a change of scenery, but I hate the way people look at you when they see you getting pushed in a wheel chair. It's that sad "I wonder what's wrong with her look". I am pretty small this pregnancy, so people might assume I'm in here for something else, but it is pesky. On top of it I feel fine, so I hate the fact that I have to rely on someone to push me when I really could probably walk to the cafeteria and back without going into labor. But you never know, something that small COULD send me into labor.
The countdown is on until I make it to 28 weeks which is my first short term goal. I can't wait to make it there. I've had this feeling that if I make it to 28 weeks the baby will be ok. If I make it to 28 weeks the next goal is 31. I don't know why it's not 30 or 32, just 31 seems reassuring. God, imagining 4 more weeks in the hospital is insane, but I guess 4 is better than 7. I'm leaking a ridiculous amount, but the doctors say having no fluid is not a reason to deliver, so I guess I need to just listen to them and trust what they have to say.
I was at my 21 week ultrasound when I found out I had oligohydramnios. Oligohydramnios is low amniotic fluid defined by the absence of a single pocket of fluid at least 2-3cm in depth or having less than a total of 5cm in fluid. It only affects about 4% of pregnancies and can cause Intrauterine Growth Restriction, birth defects, and cord compression. At my ultrasound when the technician said something seemed wrong and went to get the doctor, I wasn't even concerned. I was making jokes with my boyfriend, I was happy we were having a boy. The tone completely changed when the doctor came him. He talked about the baby being born with hyperplastic lungs (hard lungs or undeveloped lungs), the kidneys not developing, clubbed feet & hands, and pointed out the oval shaped head of the baby (which is also a sign that he's restricted in the uterus). It was scary. As soon as we left the hospital, I had to go right over to my doctors office. I spent the entire car ride trying to look information up on my phone about low amniotic fluid. Everything seemed so grim. At my doctors office she informed me about late term abortions, let me know the decision was mine and scheduled me to have another ultrasound a week later.
A week later the fluid was still the same. I had spent the whole week in between the two ultrasounds feeling totally depressed. I cried a lot to myself. I tried to look online for women who had the same problem, but had positive outcomes. I felt as though I had caused this problem. I was so scared that I would deliver a stillborn or a baby who looked mutated. Ultimately, Ted & I just decided to take a chance and go ahead with the pregnancy. I figured at any point something could change and my fluid could return to normal. I also didn't want to terminate a pregnancy that could result in a baby that's perfectly normal.
After the diagnosis I was told I couldn't have sex anymore (which seeing how far along I am now you can see it's been a LONG time). I was taken off work. I know it was hard for my manager to see me being taken off work. She tried to convince me to still work a few days a week but I don't think she realized the severity of what was going on. To be honest I guess I didn't realize the severity of what was going on because I still continued to cook and do light cleaning at home. I guess I should have asked my doctor to give me a more clear definition of what no activity meant. There would be days at home where I would think about all the potential negative outcomes of my pregnancy and burst out crying. It was depressing I couldn't play with my son the way I wanted to or take him to the park. In retrospect, if I could go back, I would have made myself be on an even more strict bed rest and taken it more seriously because my water may have never broke.
Two days before my water broke I had an ultrasound where my fluid levels had increased to 4cm, which is the most I had in the 4 ultrasounds I received. My doctor had been really happy about this. I was too. I figured cutting out the coffee and juice and pop, and drinking two gallons of water was finally paying off for me. That week I had spent a lot of time cleaning my apartment though. It was that rush of energy you get during the second trimester where you want to prepare for the baby. I think that's where I over did it and the next thing you know I was here in the hospital.
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